The Kindle ebook deal of the day over at Amazon today is So Now You're a Zombie: A Handbook for the Newly Undead by John Austin
Saturday, November 5, 2011
eBook Deal: So Now You’re a Zombie: A Handbook for the Newly Undead
eBook Deal: So Now You’re a Zombie: A Handbook for the Newly Undead:
The Kindle ebook deal of the day over at Amazon today is So Now You're a Zombie: A Handbook for the Newly Undead by John Austin
The Kindle ebook deal of the day over at Amazon today is So Now You're a Zombie: A Handbook for the Newly Undead by John Austin
The Zombie Kama Sutra – For Deadites That Do The Dirty
To cap off your Halloween night we have some excerpts from the Zombie Kama Sutra, featuring romantic and erotic advice for zombies. Craps, I used to be able to see zombies as mindless flesh munchers and not think anything unusual about it. Now I’m wondering if it’s safe for a zombie to get an erection, or engage in intercourse? Do zombies still need to use condoms? Would sex with a zombie be considered necrophilia? Argh!
IN the beginning, the Lord of Beings created men and women, and prescribed therefore about one million rules by which those men and women must necessarily regulate their living existence. Yet, these rules have not applied to the undead. For too long have these wayward, shambling, unholy creatures attempted to engage the acts of courtship, embracing, unions, seduction, and etc.
Death should not be used as an excuse for chaos.
To that end are written these more than one thousand chapters, intended as a guide to those who have risen from the grave by whatever means, be it metaphysical, mystical, biological, or extraterrestrial. These important “rules to be dead by” shall provide to the zombie the proper knowledge in regards to conducting oneself in all manner of intimate relations.
From Part 1st, Chapter 1st: On Getting Your Kicks When Your Bucket Has Been Kicked.
MAN is divided into three classes, according to the size of his thingambob. UNDEAD man is divided into two classes, depending on whether or not he has retained all his limbs and brains.
WOMAN is also divided into three classes, depending on the depth of her you-know-what. So too is UNDEAD woman divided into two classes, corresponding to the number of remaining limbs and brains also.
The temperament of the undead is based most especially on the proximity to brains. The brain is the most important sexual organ. The undead crave brains. The undead are attracted to the brains of one another.
Whatshisname says, “The undead male will feel a driven desire to slowly and inexorably move forward toward any source of food, but will willingly subsume the desire for food if there is anywhere in his field of vision a willing undead female coital partner. The undead woman is much more sensitive, and is likely to derive a pleasurable sense of contentment from the touch of the undead male, as evidenced by the low, monotonous moan that escapes from her decaying lips following the act of romantic congress. The undead female will expect from her undead romantic partner a reciprocating low, monotonous tone, sometimes known as ‘Pillow Moaning.’ The undead male, left to his own devices, would rather fall asleep.”
Of the various means of congress among the undead, there are many different types. These types are divided into several different categories: The Low, the Lower, the Gruesome, the Despicable, the Loathsome, the I’d-Rather-Not-Even-Think-About-It, and the Not Even if You Paid Me a Million Bucks, Even Though I’m Undead.
Variously are below illustrated a few of the Low types
IN the pleasure crypt, it is decorated with incense that disguises the odor of decay. The undead citizen should therein receive the undead woman, who shall give her decrepit, bruised, disgusting body, with its exposed brains and innards so that the undead citizen should freely find love’s sustenance. It is in this manner that shall the bodies of the undead be so used until such time as they fall apart against each other, the eroded limbs falling off and the body crumbling to a fine dust, to be ingested, along with dead rose petals and oils, by the next undead couple to engage in the act of congress in the pleasure crypt.
Source: Project Child Murdering Robot
Quite Obvious Hentai
Quite Obvious:
Never seen hentai, still know where this is going
Tagged: diving, Fish, tentacle
Never seen hentai, still know where this is going
Tagged: diving, Fish, tentacle
Submitted by: Jedimindtrixxx
First World Problems: It’s Taking FOREVER to Close!
First World Problems: It’s Taking FOREVER to Close!:
Tagged: computers, internet explorer, programs, windows
Tagged: computers, internet explorer, programs, windows
Submitted by: Unknown
Android announced four years ago today
Android announced four years ago today:
It was four years ago today that Google and 33 other partners announced the Open Handset Alliance. Some of may recall that the weeks leading up to the unveiling were full of rumors that Google was ready to take on Apple with a handset of its own. Rather than giving us all the much-anticipated gPhone, Google decided to go much bigger and unveil an open sourced platform - Android. Together, with this conglomerate of industry leaders, the OHA was going to provide the world with new tools and a fresh approach to mobile technology. Consumers were told to expect the first phones based on Android (T-Mobile G1) to be available in the second half of 2008.
Although announced on November 5th, the first Android SDK would not be released for another week.
The Open Handset Alliance would later go on to add new members over the years, most recently bringing Andango into the mix. After starting out with 34 total players, the OHA has grown to 84 firms including a variety of mobile handset makers, application developers, mobile carriers and chip makers.
It was also this day that AndroidGuys was born. I remember watching the news feeds like crazy, wanting to glean all that I could about Google's ambitions. Together, with four of my best friends, we went on to create a blog that we would use to share information with one another. As terrific as everything sounded that day, we had no idea just how big this thing would get. Android is now the number one mobile platform in the world, powering new and cutting edge devices that seem to come out on a weekly basis.
Our site has gone through a number of changes over the years, adding new help along the way. The four guys who helped me quickly diminished as the next few months proved to be rather quite on the Android front. With nothing more than rumors and supposition, we had to read the tea leaves as to what was going to happen. Today, we have to determine what doesn't get covered on the site; there is simply too much to pass along - every single day. Just ask Rob at Phandroid, he's been doing this since day one as well.
We've had a variety of growing pains, theme changes, and real-world obligations stand in the way from time to time, but I'm very proud of the site today. As for my team, it too has grown over the years, and I couldn't be more happy with the guys behind AndroidGuys. I look forward to many more years at the helm of AndroidGuys!
Android announced four years ago today originally appeared on AndroidGuys.
Follow AndroidGuys on Facebook and Twitter!
Download the free,official AndroidGuys application for your device!
Source: Android Guys
November 5, 2007
It was four years ago today that Google and 33 other partners announced the Open Handset Alliance. Some of may recall that the weeks leading up to the unveiling were full of rumors that Google was ready to take on Apple with a handset of its own. Rather than giving us all the much-anticipated gPhone, Google decided to go much bigger and unveil an open sourced platform - Android. Together, with this conglomerate of industry leaders, the OHA was going to provide the world with new tools and a fresh approach to mobile technology. Consumers were told to expect the first phones based on Android (T-Mobile G1) to be available in the second half of 2008.
"This partnership will help unleash the potential of mobile technology for billions of users around the world. A fresh approach to fostering innovation in the mobile industry will help shape a new computing environment that will change the way people access and share information in the future," said Google Chairman and CEO Eric Schmidt. "Today's announcement is more ambitious than any single 'Google Phone' that the press has been speculating about over the past few weeks. Our vision is that the powerful platform we're unveiling will power thousands of different phone models."
Although announced on November 5th, the first Android SDK would not be released for another week.
The SDK contains a rich set of tools for developers to build applications for the Android platform. Included are advanced development and debugging tools, a rich set of libraries, a true device emulator, in-depth documentation, sample projects, tutorials, FAQs, and more.
The Open Handset Alliance would later go on to add new members over the years, most recently bringing Andango into the mix. After starting out with 34 total players, the OHA has grown to 84 firms including a variety of mobile handset makers, application developers, mobile carriers and chip makers.
The birth of AndroidGuys
It was also this day that AndroidGuys was born. I remember watching the news feeds like crazy, wanting to glean all that I could about Google's ambitions. Together, with four of my best friends, we went on to create a blog that we would use to share information with one another. As terrific as everything sounded that day, we had no idea just how big this thing would get. Android is now the number one mobile platform in the world, powering new and cutting edge devices that seem to come out on a weekly basis.
Our site has gone through a number of changes over the years, adding new help along the way. The four guys who helped me quickly diminished as the next few months proved to be rather quite on the Android front. With nothing more than rumors and supposition, we had to read the tea leaves as to what was going to happen. Today, we have to determine what doesn't get covered on the site; there is simply too much to pass along - every single day. Just ask Rob at Phandroid, he's been doing this since day one as well.
We've had a variety of growing pains, theme changes, and real-world obligations stand in the way from time to time, but I'm very proud of the site today. As for my team, it too has grown over the years, and I couldn't be more happy with the guys behind AndroidGuys. I look forward to many more years at the helm of AndroidGuys!
If I had a magic phone...
Follow AndroidGuys on Facebook and Twitter!
Download the free,official AndroidGuys application for your device!
Source: Android Guys
Could Benicio Del Toro Be the Baddie of ‘Star Trek 2′?
Could Benicio Del Toro Be the Baddie of ‘Star Trek 2′?:
A majority of Trekkies (and Trekkers) agree the most memorable villain of Star Trek if Khan Noonien Singh, played by Ricardo Montalban. In fact, much of the success of Star Trek II: The Wrath of Khan, widely considered to the best of the Trek film, is owed to Montalban’s iconic performance. Soo…not to put too much pressure on you, J.J. Abrams, but your next Star Trek film better have one freakin’ fantastic villain.
The word in Variety is Abrams is seeking Benicio Del Toro for Star Trek 2‘s villain. As of now we still don’t know who this villain would be, or even what the premise of the sequel is, but a strong, imposing villain is a must if they want the series to flourish. Abram’s first Star Trek scored a big win with Eric Bana as the revenge-fueled Romulan. He was menacing yet relatable as the grief of losing his entire planet ate away at him. Hmm, not really all that different from Khan, who was consumed by the grief over his wife’s death and new home planet becoming an inhabitable wasteland. Will Del Toro be a good choice for the villain of Star Trek 2?
I think it’s a no brainer he’d be phenomenal. The question really lies in who he’ll play, exactly. Will Del Toro be the first Klingon villain of the new series? Could he be a who new character, maybe not even an alien? Or, could they be considering Del Toro for this new universe’s Khan? Montalban was Mexican-born, Del Toro is from Puerto Rico, that’s cultural similar enough for most audiences. It only makes sense Khan would be out there somewhere, floating around in the Botany Bay, just waiting for Chris Pine to wake him. But I’m not sure bringing Khan back, again, would be the smartest move.
What kind of villain for think Del Toro would be best suited for?
Source: /Film
A majority of Trekkies (and Trekkers) agree the most memorable villain of Star Trek if Khan Noonien Singh, played by Ricardo Montalban. In fact, much of the success of Star Trek II: The Wrath of Khan, widely considered to the best of the Trek film, is owed to Montalban’s iconic performance. Soo…not to put too much pressure on you, J.J. Abrams, but your next Star Trek film better have one freakin’ fantastic villain.
The word in Variety is Abrams is seeking Benicio Del Toro for Star Trek 2‘s villain. As of now we still don’t know who this villain would be, or even what the premise of the sequel is, but a strong, imposing villain is a must if they want the series to flourish. Abram’s first Star Trek scored a big win with Eric Bana as the revenge-fueled Romulan. He was menacing yet relatable as the grief of losing his entire planet ate away at him. Hmm, not really all that different from Khan, who was consumed by the grief over his wife’s death and new home planet becoming an inhabitable wasteland. Will Del Toro be a good choice for the villain of Star Trek 2?
I think it’s a no brainer he’d be phenomenal. The question really lies in who he’ll play, exactly. Will Del Toro be the first Klingon villain of the new series? Could he be a who new character, maybe not even an alien? Or, could they be considering Del Toro for this new universe’s Khan? Montalban was Mexican-born, Del Toro is from Puerto Rico, that’s cultural similar enough for most audiences. It only makes sense Khan would be out there somewhere, floating around in the Botany Bay, just waiting for Chris Pine to wake him. But I’m not sure bringing Khan back, again, would be the smartest move.
What kind of villain for think Del Toro would be best suited for?
Source: /Film
Star Wars Fan Kills Wife After She Damaged His Toy Collection [Crime]
Star Wars Fan Kills Wife After She Damaged His Toy Collection [Crime]:
Click to Enlarge
RickieLa-Douche La-Touche of Leigh, Greater Manchester, UK was recently sentenced to life in prison for murdering his wife after she damaged his Star Wars collection. La-Touche said that after she damaged the collection, which he had been building since childhood, his wife threatened to leave him and said she would “make his life hell.” He then said that he “flipped” and suffocated her.
La-Touche pleaded guilty to manslaughter, however a jury convicted him of murder and sentenced him to life. He’ll be eligible for parole in 12 years.
(via Mirror)
Click to Enlarge
Rickie
“She’s put me through it before. I couldn’t let that happen again. I then just remember getting up from on top of her. I think I’ve choked her,” he told detectives.
La-Touche pleaded guilty to manslaughter, however a jury convicted him of murder and sentenced him to life. He’ll be eligible for parole in 12 years.
(via Mirror)
Friday, November 4, 2011
...What if beloved X-Men characters flipped genders?
What if beloved X-Men characters flipped genders?:
Well, firstly, it makes for an interesting artistic experiment—especially on the heels of the cross-dressing cosplay phenomenon—seeing heroes like Wolverine, Storm, Rogue and Colossus with parts they didn't used to have. And secondly, it might stir feelings for some of those heroes that weren't there before.
Weapon of Ice Destruction: A Snowball Launching Crossbow [Tools]
Weapon of Ice Destruction: A Snowball Launching Crossbow [Tools]:
There was a time when all a man needed for a good snowball fight was dry gloves and some fresh powder. These days you need to step up your game, with weapons specifically engineered for winter warfare like this crossbow designed to hurl balls of snow instead of arrows. More »
There was a time when all a man needed for a good snowball fight was dry gloves and some fresh powder. These days you need to step up your game, with weapons specifically engineered for winter warfare like this crossbow designed to hurl balls of snow instead of arrows. More »
This Week In Unintentional Dong Submissions [Gallery]
This Week In Unintentional Dong Submissions [Gallery]:
Paul is a grad student down at Rice. He noticed this picture on the front page of the student newspaper, the Thresher. More »
There Is Nothing Not To Love About This French Star Wars Disco Ballet [Video]
There Is Nothing Not To Love About This French Star Wars Disco Ballet [Video]:
George Lucas can release a thousand new versions of the Star Wars films with as many changes as he can imagine, but nothing will even come close to the sheer brilliance of this French disco/ballet interpretation. More »
George Lucas can release a thousand new versions of the Star Wars films with as many changes as he can imagine, but nothing will even come close to the sheer brilliance of this French disco/ballet interpretation. More »
Toaster Griddle Is the Perfect Appliance for Lonely Breakfasts [Toasters]
Toaster Griddle Is the Perfect Appliance for Lonely Breakfasts [Toasters]:
If you roll out of bed by yourself in the morning in an empty apartment, breakfast for one doesn't always have to be just a bowl of cereal. Nostalgia Electric's griddle packing toaster has just enough room to fry up a couple of eggs or a single pancake. More »
If you roll out of bed by yourself in the morning in an empty apartment, breakfast for one doesn't always have to be just a bowl of cereal. Nostalgia Electric's griddle packing toaster has just enough room to fry up a couple of eggs or a single pancake. More »
The Last/Only Jerky Gun You'll Ever Need [Food]
The Last/Only Jerky Gun You'll Ever Need [Food]:
Do you love dried meat products? Of course you do. Maybe not enough to eat a Beef-Potato Chip Chimera but definitely enough to squeeze your favorite cow-based meat-product through a food-safe caulk shooter like the Weston Original Jerky Gun. Carnivores, you're welcome. More »
Do you love dried meat products? Of course you do. Maybe not enough to eat a Beef-Potato Chip Chimera but definitely enough to squeeze your favorite cow-based meat-product through a food-safe caulk shooter like the Weston Original Jerky Gun. Carnivores, you're welcome. More »
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)