Larry Crowne

Larry Crowne is not a bad movie.  Let me start by saying that it might very well have one of the biggest leaps of faith in regards to fictional content since the movie is centered around a guy who gets fired from a Wal-mart like job simply for not having gone to college.  Isn't that one of the reason we have Wal-Marts?! To give people who are uneducated somewhere to call a job? Anyway I'm getting off topic its got Tom Hanks playing the lovable guy who is going through a rough patch in his life and trying to rebound and Julia Roberts being a drunken Julia Robets character.  At first guy likes girl and girl is to drunk to notice or give a shit, but you know through silly charming antics of guy girl warms up to guy and falls in love.  So yeah I guess the story is a little predictable but the movie isnt without it share of silly moments, like watching a middle aged Walmart looking Tom Hanks join a gang of hipster scooter riders.  Guys if you want a movie to take a girl to that won't make you want to stab your eyes out and drink fish tank filter water this will get the job done, even if it a far cry from exciting.  Girls, its Tom Hanks and Julia Roberts, nuff said.

Bad Teacher: Passing But...

Bad Teacher is a strage movie that many critics would lead you to believe is the most raunchy thing that has hit theaters in the last decade.  This really isnt the truth.  Sure this movie has its moments where some raunch comes out and it's certanly a far cry from most of the good girl type movies we usually see Diaz in but dirty nasty most kinky comedy of this century, no, the flick falls way short of that.  In fact falling short really is the common theme of this movie.  The more I think about this movie after seeing it the less I really liked it.  The only times that I was genuinely entertained through the movie was when Jason Segel is on camera, that guy can make any scene funny, but his scenes are not nearly frequent enough to make up for the rest of this lack luster attempt at an Apatow style comedy.  I might be going to far, the movie is ok, not gread, not bad, not even good, just ok.  It's probably worth a rental if you like Segel, Diaz, or even Mr. Timberlake.  But all 3 of the leads in the movie have been in far better movies and aside from Segel the performances seem phoned in.  Overall I would give the movie a 2 1/2 out of 5.  Could have been a fuck load worse but could have been shit tons better.

Machete Review

I don't know why it took me so long to repost this from my previous blog, I loved this movie so here is my short review on Machete

Machete don’t text. I absolutely loved this fucking movie. Start to finish it delivers every thing I have come to expect in a Rodriguez that only he can provide. Its raunchy, dirty, violent, hilarious and theres a fair amount of tits flying around to keep us amused. All of hollywoods d-listers + Deniro make this movie everything it needed to be. 5 stars, A+ best movie of 2010 for sure, sorry Inception, Machete kicked your ass. Rodriguez was already pretty high on my list of awesome film makers, but Machete solidifies his place in my top 5. Go see Machete, twice, because otherwise were going to have to watch another shitty remake or sequel that looses my interest before it even hits theaters.

Edit:

Now that I am over the initial thrill of having just left a theater watching this movie I can say I still feel this movie kicks ass.  I love its grittiness as well as the bad yet awesome dialog and completely over the top insane amount of violence.  Obviously were past the point where most of us can see this in a theater but if you like action and can handle ultraviolence and humor this movie is totally for you.  I seriously hope that we get Machete Kills! and Machete Kills Again in our near future.!

A Game of Chess!

I think this would be the way that god plays chess.  Gotta say though as much as I love beer seeing as these are all variations of shot glasses shouldn't this have been set up with liquor?   Sure it might lead the way to alcohol poisoning but fuck it! This is American and we turn all things into drinking games!!

I'm at the secretary of state

61 people were infront of me when I got here. FUCK MY LIFE.