The Taco Report

So it would seem that Taco Bell is making a taco shell our of Nacho Cheese Doritos. I dont give a fuck what anyone says this is a neon orange catastrophic fake ass meat filled failure.  Seriously, why the hell can't the fat fucks that go to taco bell 5 times a week just be content with a normal god damn taco. Meat Cheese and Lettuce. thats all you fucking need!! Taco Bell your barely food to begin with, stop fucking with the few things that you have done right. 

Lord Of The Rings: The Hobbit!

Yay Hobbits! Well at least we know that something is actually happening in terms of production now on this movie.  Also Peter Jackson got skinny.

Theres not a lot I have to say on this clip but its sure cool stuff.

How To Get Your Man To Notice You While Having Sex With Him

My god, this is fucking hilarious. The onion hits again with another wonderful video.  Why can't real news be this entertaining.  Fuck the weather!

That Kind Of Day

I hate working on weekends. On to drinks.

Due Date Review

I don't really know what I expected when I sat down to watch Due Date.  I think I went into the movie with relatively low expectations and hoping for for something that would just kinda allow me to switch off my brain and enjoy.  Thats pretty much what I got. Though the movie was not nearly as slapstick as I had expected it was certainly not a movie that I had to think to much about and the flick had plenty of funny lines and stupid moments.  What I will say about this movie is that if Robert Downy Jr. was not the star of the movie I really don't think I would have enjoyed it the same way.  I'm not saying this is a movie that should win the guy an Oscar, not by any means, but I do think his delivery and his demeanor make the role and ultimately the movie. Listen to me talking like I'm an actor, fucking hilarious.
Overall this movie is probably a 3/5 

Laying in Bed.

My cat is snoring.  Its adorable.  I'm such a puss sometimes

In The World Of Nintendo

Theres not a lot of detain on this yet but it seems Nintendo is getting ready to start their next console and finally, about a decade later, they're going to make include hd! As to how good of a hd picture were looking at is still to be determined but it is a step in  a better direction.  Personally Nintendo has fucked me over more on software that hardware lately, hopefully they will go back to making games I want to play.

Abide

This still might be my favorite musical scene in any movie.  Not only does the dude abide, Johann abides.

Best School Bus Ever

This school bus hauls ass, and therefore it is awesome!!  This innocent school bus is  fitted with a jet engine for an F4 Phantom fighter jet, the result is a school bus that has a total of 42,000 hp, and can travel at a top speed of 367 MPH.  Need I state a second time that this is awesome. The only thing that could really make it better at this point is if the driver got out and it was Otto from The Simpsons. I am amused.

Fire Drill!

I wish this kind of stuff happened at the office I work at.

I Like Turtles Remix

This kid is classic, Im really just posting this because I havent posted a video yet here. Fistpump and Enjoy.

On the Brighter Side Of Beer

I had this on my previous blog and it is such a great image I thought I would bring it back early.  I still want to know where I can buy my lady some of these.

Bell's Oberon 2011, The Letdown

For the last few years the most reassuring sign that winter was over and that we were ready to move into spring was always seeing the first 6 packs of Bell's Oberon hitting the shelves, sadly this year Bell's has decided that beer fans such as myself no longer need to enjoy their summer beer of choice as intended.  The picture above shows a fresh batch of Bell's Oberon 2011 which is a landmark batch of beer, but not in the way that I would like it to be.  This is the first time since I discovered how great beer is that a the Bell's Brewery has let me down.  This beer is dull, lacks body and flavor and is all around bland in comparison to Oberon's of past and frankly I'm pissed about it.  Even the color of the damn beer is off, never have I purchased a Bell's Ale that I was able to see through, however in 2011 the best selling brew, the beer that put Bell's on the map has changed and is now translucent, fucking wonderful.

This is what a Bell's Oberon SHOULD look like.  Note that the brew is not see through, it has product of microbrew goodness still within its thick yet refreshing body.  This years batch has left me totally distraught, not only do I need to go on a search now for a new summer brew of choice but at $9-$11 a 6 pack I feel ripped off.  Instead of getting the quality product I love and was willing to pay the extra money for I got what seems like a knock off of a once legend of summer brews.  I feel like Budweiser produced this swill and just pissed it into bottles for the masses to be fooled into drink.  

My message is simple, and I hope someone at the Bells Brewery reads this.  If you want to fuck around and make a pussified sellout bitch of a beer fine, I don't care everyone needs to get paid right?  However if you choose to continue to fuck up the things that you have done right in the past (Oberon, Amber, Best Brown, Double Cream Stout, etc) not only will you annoy me but you will push me to stop buying your product.  There is no shortage of good beer out there, heres hoping that I can stick with my brand of choice.

The Walking Dead

To put it simple I have not been this impressed with a television show since I started watching Dexter. The Walking Dead absolutely delivers. From a horror prospective the zombies look amazing. The gore is well done, a good balance of shocking and yet not too over the top or cartoony. I also like the mix of the traditional Romero slow moving zombie but the motivation of a Snyder zombie. I haven’t seen a full on zombie sprint yet but a motivated zombie on walking dead looks about as believable as one could expect a zombie to look. This show has left me amazed and totally wanting more. I loved this show when it originally aired and now that I own it and can watch it uninterrupted at my leisure I can honestly say I love it even more.  Sucks that I have to wait  for another episode. 

Avatar Sex Toy Win!

Well this is nice, nerd of the world can finally experience what it would be like to fuck an alien.. that is if the alien was a flashlight. Whatever though its funny, erotic and has its own porno movie supporting it. I don’t know how many sex toys have their own trailer, but this thing does and its funny as hell. check out here@Fleshlight.com

Xmen First Class, First Sign of Interest

I still think this movie is going to be a big pile of dung but at least this image, sad that its not even on set, has peeked my interest in the movie a little bit.

That will learn em

Nothing too special going on here, I just love this image.  I often refer back to it at work as I have to talk to many many old fuckers who tend to annoy.

Mass Effect 2: Arrival

Mass Effects 2′s last dlc pack dropped on this past Tuesday and I couldn’t think of a better reason to take a short break from Dragon Age 2 than this. This dlc pack, like the others that have come out looks stellar which is really expected by this series at this point. Arrival is different from the other add ons for Mass effect so far. The content is very story driven, more so than game play driven for once. Thats not to say that it doesn’t play well or smooth but its obvious that this pack is solely to help bridge the gap between where you end Mass Effect 2 and where 3 is going to start off. My only complaint about this add on isn’t even really a fault of the content thats given, I just hate having to sit down and wait endlessly for Mass Effect 3 now; Arrival almost a bit of a cock tease. All thats on my mind even now as I type this is that I want to board the Normandy and head to earth to start kicking Reaper ass. Alas I will have to wait till whenever Bioware is done crafting the next sure to be masterpiece of a game which can simply not be out soon enough.

Paul Review

I was really excited for Paul when I first heard about the movie. I love the combo of Simon Pegg and Nick Frost which of course brought back all my fond memories of Shaun of the Dead and Hot Fuzz. Keeping with the same style of comedy the duo now takes aim at a new genre to poke fun at Sci-Fi. Paul doesn’t take you on a overblown special effects orgy, its just well written good fun. Both Pegg and Frost are witty while hitting on a ton of subject matter that sci-fi geeks like my self will totally get nerd boners over. Seth Rogen is also about as on as he has been in years for Paul, I was worried at first that Paul would be overshadowed by that stupid stoner laugh of his which hasn’t really been funny in years. Thankfully this was not the case. I don’t like to give out spoilers so I am just going to say them movie moves smoothly and is honestly one of the funniest movies I have seen in quite some time. I look forward to seeing this movie again in the near future.
Overall Rating 4/5

Banter 2.0 The Return

The old Banter Channel is dead. Onward to Banter 2.0 now with 47% more banter and 43% less bullshit. Enjoy my ongoing rants, gripes, and warped opinions.  Try? Try not! There is no try! Only do!

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